The Unmade Bed: The Messy Truth about Men and Women in the 21st Century

I have finished reading "The Unmade Bed:  The Messy Truth about Men and Women in the the 21st Century," by Stephen Marche.

I read it because NPR made it sound good.  It wasn't.

Part of the inaneness of the book is that Stephen Marche, the author, gave up a career as a professor in New York to accommodate his wife's career move to Canada.  The book is, in part, an effort by Mr. Marche to explain and excuse that decision.  Not that he needed to.  It was a perfectly fine decision, but part of the book is explained by his need to do this.

But, it is more than that.

Part of it is that it is simply incorrect.

In the book, Mr. Marche actually says, "Anything boys can do, girls can do.  Anything girls can do, boys can do."  That, on it's face, is false.  Boys can impregnate girls.  Girls can never impregnate boys.  Girls can give birth to babies.  Boys will never be able to give birth to babies.

But, it is an incorrect statement at a deeper level.  While it is true that there are males who can do some of the things females can do, most males will never be able to do most of the things that most females can do as well as most females.  While it is true that there are females who can do some of the things males can do, most females will never be able to do most of the things that most males can do as well as most males.  This is a fundamental truth about men and women.  While there is overlap, there is never equivalence.  Men and women are not equal.  To deny this truth is to deny truth.  Mr. Marche attempts to deny truth.

But, it is more than that.

In his efforts to deny the truth, Mr. Marche makes assumptions that are not true.

Mr. Marche says, "Conjure up the image of a young man, and you automatically picture a loser."  Really?  I don't.  Mr. March makes assumptions that he expresses as universal truths which are not universal.

But, it is more than that.

Mr. Marche says things that are absolutely unintelligible, except, perhaps, to an academic.  I assume he does it to sound important.  He certainly isn't doing it to communicate.  I consider myself a fairly well-educated man, and there were times when, reading the book, I stopped, re-read a sentence, pondered over it, and still couldn't figure out what it meant.

The book is, in a word, pretentious.

All that said, Mr. Marche does come around to reality.  He admits that boys and girls (using the example of his own son and daughter) are just different.  He quotes some author as saying "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."  He says this is true, but then points out that the fish and the bicycle keep falling in love, keep forming families together, keep having children, and keep making choices about furniture for the house.

Nonetheless, Mr. Marche's belated efforts to accept reality are marred by his initial attempts to deny it.

On a scale of 1 through 5, with 1 being the worst, I'd give it a 1.