Who? I'm Sorry. Who?

In his book "Fed Up! Our Fight to Save American from Washington," Texas Governor Rick Perry says, "We are tired of being told how much salt we can put on our food, what windows we can buy for our house, what kind of cars we can drive, what kind of prayers we are allowed to say and where we can say them, what political speech we are allowed to use to elect candidates, what kind of energy we can use, what kind of food we can grow, what doctor we can see, and countless other restrictions on our right to live as we see fit."

The implication is that Washington, or someone in Washington, is telling "us" all these things.

Now, literally, the words don't mean that anyone is telling "us" any of these things. Literally, the words mean that "we," whoever "we" are, are "tired" of being told these things, even if it isn't the reality that we are being told these things. So, literally, Governor Perry escapes being a flat-out liar. On this point, anyway.

But, the implication is clear. Washington, or someone in Washington, is telling "us" all these things.

So, let's examine these things, one by one.

"We are tired of being told how much salt we can put on our food." Unless "we" are children who must obey our parents, then no one is telling or can tell any of "us" how much salt we can put on our food. We are free to put as much salt on our food as we want. Just take that ol' salt shaker and pour it on, Governor, 'cause nobody can stop you. Feel free to put so much salt on your food that you die of sodium overdose, 'cause you can if you want.

Now, it is true that there are lots of folks telling "us" how much salt is healthy to put on our food. Our doctors. Our health insurance providers. Our employers. Our mothers. Even the U.S. Surgeon General. There are even folks who are telling other people how much salt those other people can put on our food. As in, "It's illegal to put so much salt on someone else's food that they die of sodium overdose." But, frankly, I'm not tired of that. I'm actually okay with that. And, those folks and some others are telling other people that if they do put salt on our food then they at least have to tell us how much salt they put on our food. But, I'm okay with that, too. I don't think anybody else ought to be allowed to put salt on my food and not even tell me how much salt they put on my food.

So, since nobody can tell us or is telling us how much salt we can put on our food, and nobody is trying to do that, what exactly are "we" tired of.

"We are tired of being told what windows we can buy for our house." Who is doing this? No one that I know of. Now, I am aware that governments sometimes give tax breaks or other incentives to those who buy certain kinds of energy-saving windows. And builders are required to install certain kinds of windows in order to follow building and safety codes. But, someone is telling "us" what kind of windows "we" can buy for our house? As far as I know, we are free to buy any kind of windows we can find for sale. So, Governor, go to some demolition site where they're tearing down some old house and buy all those old windows you want. No one will stop you. Even put 'em in your house. As long as you can afford the energy bill from those old windows, have at it. No one can stop you from buying whatever windows you want for your own house. Or even having no windows at all.

"We are tried of being told what kind of cars we can drive." I'm not clear who's doing this, either. In fact, I see old cars and cars of every make and model on the roads almost every day. Go get whatever kind of car you want, and drive it to your heart's content. No one is stopping you. Now, if what you mean is that you are not allowed to let your car get in such terrible repair that it pollutes my air and you still get to drive it around making me sick, well, yeah. People are telling you you can't do that. States, mostly, but some local governments. Maybe even the federal government. You know. Washington. But, I'm not tired of that. I'm really okay with the notion that my elected representatives care enough about my health that they won't let you ruin it by polluting my air. But, what kind of car you can drive? Nope. Nobody's telling you, or "us," that.

"We are tired of being told what kind of prayers we are allowed to say." You gotta be kidding, Governor. Are you really claiming that Washington cares what kind of prayers you say? Last time I checked, I was allowed to say any kind of prayer I felt like saying. No government, Washington or any other, was allowed to say, or was trying to say, I couldn't. That's kind of what that whole separation of church and state thing that at least one tea party candidate couldn't find in the Constitution is all about. No law respecting the establishment of religion or the free exercise thereof. Remember? Ah, well, maybe you forgot.

"We are tired of being told where we can say [prayers]." Well, I guess you got me there. It's true. Because of that separation of church and state thing, because the government really can't tell you what kind of prayers you can say, the government doesn't get to force you to go somewhere - like a school for a school child or a courtroom for someone participating in the justice system - and make you listen to prayers selected by the government. Nope, not the ones the government thinks we ought to hear, and not any others. So, yeah, "we" are told that if "we" are part of the government, "we" don't get to say "our" prayers in places that force "our" fellow citizens to listen to them in order to participate in "their" government. Even if it didn't violate that church and state thing, it seems like it might violate the "t'ain't fair" rule, at least. So, yeah, Governor, I admit, you are told where you can say your prayers. No place that interferes with other folks right to listen to whatever prayers they want to listen to and not have to listen to yours if they don't want to.

"We are tired of being told what political speech we can use to elect candidates." Huh? Maybe there's some kind of political speech that doesn't work in electing candidates, but, leately it seems like pretty much anything goes. You should know.

"We are tired of being told what kind of energy we can use." Um ... huh? Again, huh? I admit, I am practically restricted in what kind of energy I use, because I can get electrical power only from the City of Austin, and I don't control how they generate their electrical power. But, last time I checked, they were required by law to let me hook up a solar panel or a wind generator to the grid at my house, and even buy any excess energy that might produce and pay me for it. I can't set a fire that burns down my neighbor's house or pollutes their air, but I can burn wood in my fireplace and candles on my table, if I want. Or, I can do without energy if I want - turn off my lights and my air conditioner and just tough it out in the heat and dark. Who is telling me what energy I can use? Certainly not Washington.

"We are tired of being told what kind of food we can grow." What? I don't have a garden, but if I did, I'm pretty sure I could grow anything in it I wanted to, if I could get it to grow in Texas, except marijuana. I mean, I know some folks put that stuff in brownies, but generally it isn't thought of as food. I don't think. So, who, exactly, is telling me what kind of food I can grow? Certainly no one from Washington, that I know of. Governor, you weren't talking about legalizing home-grown marijuana, were you?

"We are tired of being told what doctor we can see." As far as I know, I can see any doctor I can afford. My insurance company has pretty tight control of what doctors I can afford, but if I were rich, like you, I'm pretty sure I could see any doctor I wanted to see. Certainly, Washington wouldn't stop me. In fact, last time I checked, Washington was trying to expand my options for which doctors I could afford, and you opposed that idea. But, regardless, they sure aren't telling me or anyone else I can't see any doctor I want to see. Where did you get this crazy idea?

Now, the government does say who gets to be a doctor. As in, you have to pass the medical exams to get to be a doctor. But, it's the states that do that, not Washington. And, like some of your other complaints, if that's what's bugging you, I have to say I'm really okay with that. I kind of like the idea that when I go to someone claiming to be a doctor, I've got some reason to assume he or she really knows something about medicine.

But, someone in Washington is telling me which one I can see? Nope. Never happened to me.

So, all in all, the obvious implication of the Governor's little diatribe - the implication that someone is controlling or is trying to control any of these things - is ... well ... ludicrous. (Well, except for that little thing about the government not being able to tell us what prayers we have to listen to in order to participate in our government.)

But, we go on and on telling ourselves and each other these patent falsehoods. They feed what we "feel" is true, and we begin to believe them because they "feel" true. But, they aren't. But, because we believe them to be true, without any basis for that belief, it becomes impossible for us to talk to each other and figure out what really is true. We're all tied up with what we just "feel" must be true.

It's a shame that people are willing to do that to us, but there have always been hucksters and snake oil salesman, people willing to make a buck off other people's credulity. The bigger shame is that we keep letting them do it to us.

When are we going to learn?